julie ryals

Bullies are often driven by hate, anger, jealousy, obsession, revenge, delusions and mental illness. It makes no difference how a bully works, whether it be in person or across the internet, other than they often seek revenge on someone they perceive as being popular or successful online. Sometimes it's just a twisted way of thinking, which in reality doesn't make any sense at all. Often, the cyber stalker/bully thinks that because they are behind a computer screen/keyboard they can say or do anything they want because they are not physically seen. It gives them a false sense of strength because they are not actually speaking the words and feel they can be somewhat anonymous. Being anonymous, however, is not always what the stalker/bully wants. Sometimes they will post bad things and then continue to come back to it as if they are on some sort of stage, taking pride in the damage they try to cause, awaiting an applause from an audience that doesn’t exist.

Many times the victim is merely in the wrong place at the wrong time, or has made a comment or expressed opinions that the bully simply doesn't like. There are people online who think their job is to police the internet and they believe they have been given the power to do so. At times, the bully intends to teach the victim a lesson in netiquette -- even when that etiquette may not be proper in the first place. There have been cases where the victim is merely being targeted because they are the first ones the bully encounters when they are trolling the internet. There have been cases where the bully is actually looking to get something monetary out of what they are doing. In other words, they try and extort their victim into paying them to go away. At times, a bully may also target their victim in order to try and force that person into a relationship with them, no matter how twisted it may seem.

Some bullies look for someone they may perceive as weak because dominating those they see as weak may make the bully feel strong and in control, when in reality they are not in control of anything in their own lives. Most often you'll find that the bully has had a dysfunctional life in some way, and this may include family issues, jail time and various life misfortunes that can lead them to be resentful and/or envious of someone without such adversities. They may view that person as their rival.

Occasionally, there is also the bully that works beneath the shield of false victimization. "False victimization syndrome is extremely rare and involves someone who consciously or subconsciously wants to play the role of victim. He or she may make up a complex tale, claiming to be a stalking victim. In such cases, the would-be victim is sometimes the actual stalker, and the alleged offender is the real victim."

In November of 2008 I had an experience with this sort of cyber stalker and bully. I received a random email from a person who I found goes by many different names and here are a few; Deborah Dolen, Deborah Harvey and Mabel White. In the beginning I didn't know who this person was or what she wanted. After a few replies back and forth it became clear she was attempting to bully and ultimately extort me into taking down a site called bustedscammers.com. I am a web host by trade and that web site is one of thousands that I host through my company.  She didn't like that her past felonies, which included prison time and various legitamate newspaper articles, were listed on that site as a potential warning to the work at home community. She has assumed the fictitious name of Mabel White and Deborah Dolen was actually the person behind that name. Even though I was nothing more than courteous in my responses and directed her to contact the owner of the site directly, her delusions outweighed reality so she attacked me even further by threatening to turn my name into being associated as a child porn dealer. Two days later, she purchased my name as a domain - julieryals.com. I found this out when she emailed me along with a receipt of purchase of the domain telling me she was "leveling the playing field". From that moment on, I did not respond to anything at all. That would be the advice that I would give anyone in this type of situation to make the perpetrator stop, but this time it didn't make a difference. She continued to email me with various threats and harassed me, sometimes on a daily basis via email. I think that was because I ignored her and it fueled her revenge. I was not going to respond at all, especially since I found she had done this very same thing to various groups of women online a few years prior which is still verifiable online today.

I used Google to research who this person was and what I found out was frightening. Google is an amazing tool if used properly. Sometimes you have to weed through the nonsense because that very bully can use sites online as a sword to torture and bully their victims. In my case, she had and continues to file false reports and complaints on sites that had nothing to do with my business. Her intentions are to put my name out there in any negative way that she can and has told me via email as well as my attorney that she plans to "deal" with me for the rest of her life. I found that the best thing to do is to look the other way and continue to be productive online. Truth does eventually prevail and absolutely did in my situation.

False victimization Syndrome is exactly what I experienced from Deborah Dolen during the two and a half years that she pursued me, and everything she was claimed was being done to her was exactly what she was doing instead. She was the one emailing me, calling my friends and acquaintances, leaving nasty messages, boldly posting rude and libelous comments online, writing fictional articles and press releases, holding the julieryals.com domain hostage -- all while claiming to be the innocent victim of a cyber stalker. Many times she referenced a stalking situation and ultimately a successful court case where a man named Gene Cooley was harassed and libeled online. From what I understand, in that case, a lady didn't like Gene Cooley and started posting bad things online about him including a criminal record which didn't exist. Deborah R. Dolen claimed that her situation was the same except she conveniently excluded the major difference was that Gene Cooley went to court with a copy of his criminal record, that included zero arrests. In her lawsuit, Deborah Dolen worked hard to exclude her 45-page criminal record, all while claiming that all of her arrests and charges shouldn't be allowed in court because “they weren’t authenticated or not legible". She desperately tried everything to block them from being shown in court. Anyone can get a copy of anyone's criminal record, and in most places it's free. Obviously, the Federal Court system can easily confirm a prior criminal history. I think she might have forgotten that we were in a real life court room where she spent many years defending herself in her other crimes.

"It's a sad day when a person, in this case, Deborah Dolen aka Mabel White, used the court's resources as a sword to threaten, scare, extort, harass and bully another person. It's now very clear to me that anyone with $350 and a bunch of delusions can file a lawsuit against anyone for any reason and request that a jury hear the case. Needless to say, the jury never got to decide and ultimately it was all wasted time because the Judge dismissed everything the minute Deborah Dolen rested her "case". What does that tell you?"

Long story short, Deborah Dolen filed a fictional Federal Lawsuit pretending to be the victim, while bullying me and ultimately wasting public resources and time by using the courts as yet another weapon to victimize me and many others she involved with this frivolous lawsuit. All along she claimed in the court process that she was broke, destitute, indigent and nearly homeless.  But, online she viciously attacked us and claimed she was a superstar living in mansions, an amazon acclaimed author selling books, producing television shows,  Nearly two and a half years later a very tolerant Tampa, FL Federal Judge dismissed all of Deborah Dolen’s claims against me, stating that she had an "infinitesimal infinity chance of prevailing" in any of her claims against me. I did get my name back as a domain name, but still deal with the ongoing delusional posts from someone who is very disconnected from reality. Unfortunately I'm not her first victim and I'm sure I won't be the last. Even though I was eventually released of this torturous game of lawsuit lottery Deborah Dolen was playing with me and my life, this article is written in hopes to offer future support to the next victim who may need help.

©Julie Ryals - 2011. Julie Ryals is a wife, mom, business owner of The Design Shoppe, DIYShoppes.com, Head Mom of MomPack.com and an accidental author. Julie Ryals is a advocate against cyber stalking, cyber bullying and other nasty things online. Read more about her personal experience with an online bully and her experience with lawsuit lottery (aka extortion) at www.julie-ryals.com